I would have to say that most of my friendships are considered pleasure friendships, in Aristotelian terms. However, I would also have to say that some of my relationships could be considered a mixture of both pleasure and utility. Those instances are, oddly enough, with a select few professors on campus. I would consider at least one professor under this category. I often find myself in his office late into the afternoon talking about random things, not even remotely related to class, or even academics. As far as my other relationships, mainly with students on campus, I would consider them to be solely pleasure based. Some of my friends do share the same major as me, and we do talk about academia together, however the bulk of our friendship is pleasure-based. I would also have to say that I have one virtuous relationship, with my girlfriend. The way we interact with each other and how we compliment each other's life reaches far beyond that of a pleasure-based relationship. Anything I do to improve the relationship we have is solely for her; I try to never think about myself as far as the relationship goes, and I believe that shows it is a virtuous one.
A situation where some of my core beliefs were questioned happened quite recently. I have always been taught that people have different views on certain aspects of life, and to respect their decisions, even if I do not agree with them. Recently, my fraternity has had internal issues, where some members were going out of their way to cause problems, and be, in an essence, "problem children". This was causing damage to the structure of our fraternity. Long story short- our fraternity started to divide. All of a sudden I was in a position where I pretty much had to choose sides- something I have never had to handle before. In this case, if I chose one side, the other side resented me. It was unhealthy, as friends, and as a fraternity, to handle the situation like we did. If we had gone by what my parents had taught me, we might have bypassed the issues our fraternity had faced.
A situation where some of my core beliefs were questioned happened quite recently. I have always been taught that people have different views on certain aspects of life, and to respect their decisions, even if I do not agree with them. Recently, my fraternity has had internal issues, where some members were going out of their way to cause problems, and be, in an essence, "problem children". This was causing damage to the structure of our fraternity. Long story short- our fraternity started to divide. All of a sudden I was in a position where I pretty much had to choose sides- something I have never had to handle before. In this case, if I chose one side, the other side resented me. It was unhealthy, as friends, and as a fraternity, to handle the situation like we did. If we had gone by what my parents had taught me, we might have bypassed the issues our fraternity had faced.
When people are force to choose a side, no good can come out of it. Especially if you want to stay neutral and not enter the situation. Hope things end up well for Phi Delt.
ReplyDeleteYour take on categorizing friendships is very interesting. It seems that you only count utility in terms of academia. But utility can be things like say, your friend provides you someone to eat with in the cafeteria--something that fills a larger role than you would think. Perhaps it might be beneficial to analyze your friendships more in a way where you make mental lists about the benefits you both gain from spending time together. Those things that may seem pleasurable may also have a dual function like the example above.
ReplyDeleteIn terms of your partner, that is so interesting to me. I wrote about my partner as well and I said in my piece that I'm sure most young people our age would categorize their partner in the virtuous friendship category. I think that we may all may be partaking in flawed thinking, however. I still don't think I can wrap my mind around how big of a concept the virtuous friendship is. I think all of us that argue that we have this with our partner should read the cracked article that discusses five ways you know you're ready to get married. It might be a good test for this type of friendship.